


will we ever say the words we're feeling

by theappleppielifestyle



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-03 02:14:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1727390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theappleppielifestyle/pseuds/theappleppielifestyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He breaks off then, the realization of what he’s just revealed finally hitting him, and he stops, and Tony’s still staring.</i>
</p>
<p>(Or, Steve and Tony argue and Steve lets something slip.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	will we ever say the words we're feeling

They’re yelling again, of course they’re yelling, they had almost gone two weeks without having a screaming argument and the universe obviously saw this as something that had to be rectified.

Even after becoming friends with Tony, even after falling in love with him, one thing hasn’t changed: Tony can piss him off more than anyone in the entire world.

Steve tries to take a deep breath, but it’s interrupted when Tony bites out something scathing and all of Steve’s slowly-gathered calm crumples. They’ve had this fight before, had it a hundred times and will probably have it a hundred times more, but it always serves to get Steve so angry he’s shaking.

"You flew into a building you knew was coming down," Steve spits. "Forgive me if I was  _worried_.”

"I did the math," Tony argues, and Steve throws up his hands, because Tony always knows the odds and does it anyway. "I did the math, there was a chance-"

"Yes, exactly, a CHANCE you might come out alive. You nearly didn’t, you nearly-"

"But I did! I saved the guy and I got out in time, I’m fine, Steve, I am a-okay-"

Steve grits his teeth. “Your comm went dead, we thought you were done for.”

"And I’m not, so I don’t get why you’re making such a big deal out of this, Steve!"

"Because you always do this! You always do it, no matter how many people are shouting at you not to, you ALWAYS do it. This time you were lucky, but next time you might not be, god, Tony, why can’t you trust us when we say to stay the hell put?"

"I do trust you guys, I just-"

"What," Steve snaps, and they’re in each other’s space now, Tony had been walking away, hunching into his shoulders, but he had turned around when Steve had started shouting again. "What, you think you’d be acceptable as collateral damage? That you’re replaceable? That we don’t need you? Because we do, okay, we need you, not just Iron Man but YOU, Tony Stark, we need you, I’ve  _told_  you this.”

"And I know," Tony says, but he’s looking away again, down at the floor. "I do know that, Steve, you managed to drill it into my thick skull around about the seventh time you told me. But it isn’t going to stop me from doing that I think is necessary, just like what you know you would do if-"

"I would call for help," Steve insists, and Tony snorts.

"Right, like you called for help with the plane."

"That was-"

"Different, I know," Tony says. "But it’s the same, Steve. You’d do it again in a heartbeat, I know you would. We do what we have to, it’s part of the gig."

"Part of the gig is also calling on your people when you need help."

"And I will, if there’s time."

"If there’s  _time_ -“

"Sometimes there’s no other way, Steve," Tony yells, and there it is, they’re yelling again, how many times have they tried to curb it and ended up just yelling louder?

"I know that, shockingly enough, that’s how I ended up here," Steve yells back, and shoves his hands through his hair, still gloved from the fight. "God, Tony, you’re so-"

"I’m an asshole, I know, you don’t have to-"

"I wasn’t going to say that, I was going to say you’re stubborn as hell and I wish you’d let us give you help when you need it."

"I ask for help when I need it!"

"Yeah,  _right_.”

"Excuse me, you fucking hypocrite, who was it that moped around the Tower for the first six months?"

"I asked when it got bad enough."

"Yeah, when it got bad enough, not when you first needed help!"

"Don’t try to turn this back to me, Tony."

"Well, you keep coming at me, what am I supposed to do?"

"Promise you’ll ask for help and actually DO IT this time," Steve growls, his hands bunched at his sides. "Jesus, what is it with you, you drive me  _crazy_ , every time you wake up from subjecting yourself to the horror of the week I want to pick you up and  _shake you_.”

"We all get hurt-"

"Yeah, but the rest of us try to avoid it!"

"I do what I have to do."

"You do what you  _think_  you have to do.”

"Is there a difference?"

"Stop it," Steve says, and grabs his shoulders. "Just stop."

"Stop what, god, loosen up on the grip there-"

"Stop treating yourself like a necessary loss," Steve says, making Tony look him in the face. "I will tell you this over and over again-"

"The team needs me, I know, I gotcha,  _Captain_.”

The way he spits it makes Steve wince, and then he has to let go of Tony’s shoulders in case he loses it and ends up bruising them. “Don’t you dare brush that off like it’s nothing, you said it had sunk in.”

"It has, it’s right up there with rules like ‘Don’t Piss Off The Hulk,’ I promise." Tony smiles tightly, that one that Steve hates, the one that Tony always gives to paparazzi when they corner him while all he wants to do it punch something. "I got it, Cap."

"Apparently you haven’t, otherwise you wouldn’t have flown into that building today." 

"Fine, I’m sorry," Tony snaps. "Can I go now?"

Steve moves in front of him to block the doorway. “Not until you actually believe we need you, Tony.”

"Oh my GOD, I believe you," Tony snarls, trying to shove past Steve. "Is that what you want? I am needed. I, Tony Stark, not just Iron Man, am needed by my team. I acknowledge this and promise to try better in the future."

"Don’t just say it, you need to believe it."

Tony actually shoves him then, a hard push in the shoulder that does absolutely nothing. “For fuck’s sake, Steve why do you care so much?”

"Because we need you," Steve shouts, and forces himself not to grab his shoulders again. He doesn’t want to hurt Tony, and they’re both running on a lot of anger and adrenaline right now. "You said you got it. We need you, okay,  _we need Tony Stark_ , well and alive and bitching at all of us, we need you to be around and piss us off and make us laugh and be a part of this dysfunctional family with us. We need you to stumble out at noon after just waking up, I need you to- we need you to drink too much coffee and wear awful clothes with oil stains and eat breakfast foods at dinner. I need you to watch old movies with me and say that baseball is the worst sport ever just to piss me off, I  _know_  you do it just to get me riled up.”

He’s still shouting, but it’s quieter now since he doesn’t need to be loud to make his voice hears over Tony. And he knows he should stop now, now would definitely be a good time to stop, because Tony’s staring at him with wide eyes, but Steve has been holding onto this for far too long and Tony has always driven him crazy enough for Steve to say things like this.

"I need you to be around," Steve continues, his voice cracking on it before continuing, "I need you to yell at me when I’m being pigheaded, I need you to be around and funny and infuriating and I need you to treat me like I’m Steve, like I’m this normal guy who can’t crush rocks with his hands. I need you to be around because I can’t do this if you aren’t here, okay, I  _can’t_ , please don’t make me, please don’t make me go on without you around, I need you around, I can’t ever stop loving you, I’ve tried but I can’t stop, you stupid, stubborn, infuriating  _bastard_. Please don’t make me do this without you. I can’t. I really can’t, please don’t-“

He breaks off then, the realization of what he’s just revealed finally hitting him, and he stops, and Tony’s still staring.

"Steve," Tony says, hardly a breath, and it’s soft and wondering and Steve can’t stand to see the pity that is inevitably going to show up in his eyes.

"I’m sorry," Steve manages. He thinks he’s shaking his head. He tries to back out the door he had been blocking. "I’m so sorry, I never meant for you to know-"

"You never meant for me to know," Tony says, deadpan, following Steve as he tries to remember how to move his feet. "What, so your plan was to pine quietly until one of us died?"

Steve had never put it into words, but he thinks the answer to that is yes. Or wait until Tony found out and ended the friendship, which Steve had promised himself would never happen except now it has, oh, god, he’s going to lose Tony and Steve is going to cope, he’s going to have to.

Except he doesn’t seem to be losing him, in fact Tony has him pinned to a wall now, because apparently Steve goes pliant when he’s been struck dumb.

"Tony?" It’s quiet, a question that Steve never dared to ask.

"I need you," Tony tells him, and his smile is cautious. "I tried to stop, too. The whole Loving You thing. Didn’t stick. Still crazy about you. It’s embarrassing, really."

"You," Steve says, and can’t find the words to finish. "Tony," he says again, and his next breath lands on Tony’s lips when Tony brings their faces close together, close enough that Steve feels it when Tony breathes out.

"I’m going to yell at you later about how dumb it is to assume I could never want you back," Tony tells him, and kisses him.

Steve closes his eyes and feels Tony against him, still here with him and not leaving anytime soon.

**Author's Note:**

> here's my [tumblr](http://theappleppielifestyle.tumblr.com/).


End file.
